GLP-1s: “If You Would Just Do This…”

It’s exhausting sometimes listening to people tell me, “If you would just <fill-in-the-blank> you wouldn’t have <fill-in-the-blank>.

Today I got this one:

“If you just had some self-control, you could be like me! I lost blah-blah-blah weight and you can, too… without the shots.”

I began my answer:

“You think I have self control?!?”

Holy cow, if I had self control, the 50+ diets I’ve tried in my lifetime would have worked. I wouldn’t have regained after Fen-Phen. I wouldn’t have regained all I lost and more after the RNY Gastric Bypass I had in 2001. I wouldn’t have gotten to 405 lbs. or so many times near death from fat if I had self control.

But, the question is, why do I have self-control now whereas I have not had it since I was 6-years old?

GLP-1 Deficiency

I heard this term last night at a Live YouTube segment on one of my fave channels, TheDownSized. with Laraine and Christopher Durham, a husband and wife team on tirzepatide and Mounjaro or Zepbound if they can find it. If I find who the person was that used the term it (coined it?), I will cite her.

Yes. I have a GLP-1 deficiency and my Mounjaro and compounded tirzepatide take care of supplying me with the peptide I am short on.

(Yes I know this term is terribly simplistic, and will come with caveats attached, but it might actually be used as shorthand for those of us who need these medications to wholly function. Time will tell!)

What Ways Have I Tried to Lose Weight?

Whenever someone tells me, “all you need to do is…” I know that something complicated and/or impossible is coming up. “I can’t figure out this math problem.” “All you do is…” The same goes for trying to get healthy and lose weight.

So I’ve compiled a list of what I have tried, whether it is a diet, an exercise plan, or a weight loss program. I am sure there are more, but as you scan the list, you can see why I might have forgotten one or ten.

The things I tried more than once are marked in green. I probably tried them many more times than once. I wrote where I heard of the weight loss method in parentheses and commented with how I felt about the method.

Note: This is not an exhaustive list of all diets, exercise, or weight loss programs; just the ones at which I have tried and failed.

• Gym memberships and fitness trainers (the world) – at least half-a-dozen memberships to gyms and the YMCA
• Speed… Amphetamines (mom, friends) – got them from the doctors and people at school selling them
• Herbalife (from dozens of Herbalife MLMers) – absolutely the grossest grass-tasting muck ever.
• Weight Watchers (commercials, friends, magazines) – several memberships over the years
• Richard Simmons Program (TV, friends, magazines) – bought his programs and exercise tapes; he’s probably retired rich because of me

• Jane Fonda Workout (TV and magazines) – bought all her books and tapes
• Nutrisystem (commercials) – bought the food, expensive as crap… and tasted like crap, too
• Atkins Diet (friends, talk shows) – boring, hated making the meals (this was long before pre-made)
• Metabolife (magazines, commercials, salespeople) – gotta love those MLMs!
• Jenny Craig (commercials) – bought the food and program… expensive and tasted horrible
• Vegan (friends, reading magazines) – did this for a couple of decades
• Vegetarian (friends, reading magazines) – did this for a couple more decades
• Pescatarian (friends, when I was wanting to quit vegan or vegetarian) – off and on
• South Beach Diet (PBS, magazines) – bought the books (plural); thought if I tried it enough, it would work
• Ayds candy (mom) – ate her stash of Ayds candies… got fatter

• Fen-Phen (doctor) – gave me heart valve damage
• RNY Gastric Bypass – (doctors) – out ate it and gained all 210 lbs. I’d lost back + more
• Switched from Coke to Diet Coke (nagging friends and family) – after 30 years on Diet Coke, I finally quit that habit with Mounjaro

• Zone Diet (PBS) – bought the book and program; too complicated
• Low-FODMAP Diet (Internet after GI probs) – it didn’t help and was very restrictive
• Ornish Diet (PBS) – bought books, basically vegan
• Body Type Diet (PBS) – bought the book; this one we tried several times because it seemed to make sense… weren’t we the fools
• Blood Type Diet (PBS) – bought the book, even had our blood tested at a “clinic” to make sure we were following the right section
• Mediterranean Diet (talk shows, friends) – the best tasting diet ever, but I always wanted more
• DASH Diet (PBS) – boring and basic, no matter how many times I tried, just couldn’t get it right
• Plate portion separators (TV, doctor) – I had 6 different  plates at one time; I was starving with all of them

• Keto Diet (friends, talk shows) – barely remember it because it failed to produce results
• Paleo Diet (talk shows, friends) – hated this, too strict
• SlimFast (commercials and everyone in my life) – bought many cases over the last 40 years
• Grapefruit Diet (friends, talk shows and magazines) – hated grapefruits for years afterwards
• Cabbage Soup Diet (friends and magazines) – gross and everyone did it at the same time, over and over again
• HCG Diet (I owned a holistic healthcare business; this was HUGE there) – bought pregnant women’s pee and had it injected into me once a week… and ate less than 500 calories a day
• Macrobiotic Diet (work) – midwifery clients swore by it… not for me
• Gluten-Free Diet (work, magazines, TV) – apparently 3/4 of the world are gluten-intolerant (said sarcastically), not me
• Master Cleanse (work) – bought book. hate cleanses with a passion
• Ayurvedic Diet (work) – threw away old food, bought new food; that lasted a few days, too weird for me
• Calories In, Calories Out (everyone under the sun) – counted calories like an accountant
• Mayo Clinic Diet (TV, magazines) – ever so popular even though the Mayo Clinic denies it’s theirs, this didn’t help with the grapefruit aversion
• One Meal A Day (thought I discovered that one on my own) – saved money for a couple of weeks
• Lean Cuisine Diet (school, and friends) – tried this a dozen times

• Pegan Diet (PBS) – combo of keto and vegan diet… gross
• Anti-Inflammatory Diet (PBS) – bought book… at the time, had no knowledge of inflammation and poo-poo’d it; it made no sense to me
• Susan Powter’s Stop the Insanity Diet (talk shows, magazines) – bought her book, tried and tried
• Suzanne Somer’s Thigh Master (commercials, infomercials) – I can’t believe I bought this thing

I wonder how much money I spent on all of that. Frightening. Suddenly, the price of GLP-1s doesn’t seem so bad.

Do I Have Will-Power?

Apparently not.

What DID Work for Me?

Tell Me Your Experiences!

I want to hear what diets, plans, and programs you have tried in the comments, please!