I was still new on Mounjaro. Because I had been on Trulicity for a year, the Endocrinologist started me on 10mg of Mounjaro. I had no side effects, so she definitely knew what she was doing.
I had a great first month, taking my shots religiously, and feeling infinitely more sane without the food screaming going on.
So when I went into the Pharmacy to pick up my second month of 10mg and the pharmacist told me Mounjaro was on back-order, I had the strangest response.
Opiate Addiction
I am now nine years clean from a ten year-long addiction to Norco and Percocet. Whenever I went to pick up my medications at the pharmacy, I was a nervous wreck. I broke out in a cold sweat every time the pharmacist would walk up to me, for any reason. The one time when he wouldn’t give me my Percocet, I thought I was going to faint. I got the Norco, but I needed the Percocet, too. I was sweet, then cajoling, then tearful, then pleading, then angry. Finally, I said I would go to another pharmacy and he gave me back my prescription.
I wish I knew who he was because I would send him the most eloquent words of thanks for caring about my addiction even when the doctor prescribing them did not.
Mounjaro Delay
So when the pharmacist told me my 10mg Mounjaro was on back-order, I broke into that same addictive sweat I had when I needed the opiates. I felt dizzy, holding onto the counter and asked what I was going to do. He casually said to call and ask for the 12.5mg because he had that in stock. Still shaking, I called the Endocrinologist and within minutes, the new prescription for 12.5mg was called in.
As I sat waiting for it to be filled, I had an inner dialogue that went like this.
What the holy hell was that? Why did I freak out? I’ve only had one shot! Losing 6 pounds in a week was cool, but was it worth this response to not getting the meds? I overreacted in the worst way. Why? What was I afraid of? Even if I couldn’t get the Mounjaro, I could have had the Trulicity again for a week or two. Unless Trulicity is back-ordered, too. How come when I couldn’t get Trulicity for two weeks, I didn’t have this visceral response. Is Mounjaro addictive? No, it wasn’t a physical thing, it was 100% mental “need” for losing weight. No concern for my pancreas or liver, just my crazy mind games of “weight loss is crucial.” I have to remind myself, no, no, no… it is the LABS you want to see, not the scale.
And when I went home, I had my housemate lock up my scale so I didn’t see it for almost a month. That reaction was too close to the terrifying feeling from the opiates. I did not want to be that obsessed with weight loss. Far better to be that obsessed with getting great lab results.
Takeaway
Even I, who really does work towards health and well-being, get caught up in the scale watching. I justify it by, “If I don’t lose weight, I won’t get better labs.” At least I do not have a weight goal I am shooting for. For that I am grateful.
Since that awful-feeling reminder, I’ve chilled considerably. When I was on the Trulicity, I was 100% unaware of the weight loss connection, so sailed through that year without freaking out about those numbers on a piece of metal. Instead, I marveled at my improving labs, cheered when I went off all insulin, and woo hoo’d that my blood pressure was getting lower.
Shifting to the Mounjaro, my perspective changed and I replayed what it was like when I had the RNY Gastric Bypass in 2021. Watching the scale was a delight! The labs getting better was fantastic. But then, my viewpoint was skewed. I want that to change… for good… this Health Gain/Weight Loss excursion.
