My Mounjaro 15mg cannot be found, so I was lowered to 12.5. Immediately, I had the food noise. It was milder than it used to be (that was food cacophony!), but it still caused my hand to grab and eat a brownie on Saturday. This was something I have not done in at least a year.
For those that don’t understand what I mean, it was so impulsive and happened so fast, it was as if the movie was on triple speed. If you have obesity, you surely know the experience first hand. But, it has to be so strange if you do not know how someone could put something in their mouth without consciousness. But it was so fast I was dizzy after I swallowed, wondering what in the heck I had done! I wasn’t mad at myself, just baffled. It was a sliver of the darkness I have known my whole life, that has been gone since Trulicity and Mounjaro.
Blessedly, I was able to rationalize with myself that if I heard the food noise, even a whisper, I would immediately go for a walk. Since Saturday, I have done that and it’s helped tremendously.
I think the extreme attention to the first sign of that compulsive feeling, hearing the tiny whisper of “eateateateateat,” I am able to be proactive and circumvent the action of eating.
I’m Not Hungry
It’s important to know that the impulsive action was not because I was hungry at all. I have gotten used to that signal. It doesn’t always make my stomach growl or feel faint, but just another kind of whisper, “It’s time to eat,” or “You haven’t eaten in awhile. How about some food.” I listen to that voice and take care of my body by eating.
The Brownie (now a representation of that eating-without-thinking experience) was totally different. I wish I could explain it better. Comment below if you know what I’m talking about. Maybe you can explain it a little better than I can.
Mindfulness Required (Even When I Get the 15mg, Back!)
I was reminded that my mind is not well when it comes to food. The medication smooths the glitches in my brain and I think for a few moments, I let my guard down. I am re-aware of my illness with food and will do my best to pay mindful attention. I’m sure that experience will repeat again several times in my life. I’m being gentle with my Self so I don’t get angry at the hungry person in my brain. It’s not her fault, either.
Interesting less, that’s for sure.